Them Annoying Selfies

Last time I was so enthusiastic writing about taking a selfie to the point of defending selfie-addicted people. I must have been high on my broad mind.

I was in the process of writing tips on taking the perfect selfie when I got sidetracked by a photo I chanced upon the net through my affordable android tablet pc. It was awful. It didn’t showcase violence or any form of misconduct. It was worse.

Inside the car. Pouty lips. Outstretched arms and all. You think things can’t get any worse?

HE WAS A GUY.

AND SEEMINGLY STRAIGHT.

My gay friends would have been all cracked up.

flickr

Needless to say, it appalled me to high heavens. It definitely induced nausea but at the same time I was having the time of my life thinking what could have possibly gone wrong. I remember the exact words on my previous blog: There’s something icky about being able to pose fabulously well in front of the camera… IF YOU’RE A GUY. Now the pose of this guy I’m talking about is far from being fabulous, but just the same, it’s icky. Way too icky.

The same can be said about girls who seem to get off by posting raunchy photos of themselves and captioning them with something like “Only God can judge me.”

Be careful girl – you may just hear a confirmation from above. I’m just kidding, God has better things to do.

Another weird caption: “I’m such a nerd.” Well guess what, you’re not a nerd. You’re a bitch on glasses.

That said, here’s a list of the most annoying selfies ever. I narrowed them down to five. Obviously there are a lot more so feel free to add to this list.

Pouty lips/model wink

Both of these are really cute… IF YOU’RE DESPERATE.

Duck face/sparrow face

And here she goes for another desperation shot – ACHIEVED!

Just woke up/Pretending to be asleep selfie

Just woke up – SURE.

Pretending to be asleep – SURE.

Intimate moments selfie

Hey you got some moves there. SURE.

Gym mirror selfie

That’s a whole lot of confidence you’re packing in there. But seriously dude, you think your six pack will intimidate a street mugger? I suggest you learn how to fight before posting gym photos. Can you say phonie? You see, working out everyday will get you nowhere but a male bikini contest, and that’s downright gay. You can fool others, but not smart ladies like the readers of this blog. I could care less if you have the ‘sexiest’ abs. If you can’t throw a punch or at least have the courage to stand for your girl, again…what a phonie.

There you go. Thanks, people! Stay cute!